Each year, as the number of talking children in our house increases, the
"Quotable Quotes" section of the newsletter gets longer. In this year's
issue, the quotes took up almost three quarters of the four-page publication.
It is quite a chore to cram in the rest of the year's news in the
remaining space. My solution is to add more pages to the publication;
my wife's idea is to do fewer things during the year, so there's
less to write about. I guess we'll just continue to use ever-smaller
fonts each year.
But I digress. Without further ado, here are some of the quotes from
this year's issue, out of the mouths of Simon (now 3), David (7), Jasper
(9), Alison (12), and Benjamin (14):
"Little ones two three four five..." -- Simon, 11/29/02, getting his
singing ("Jesus Loves Me") slightly mixed up with his counting.
"I was seething in my seat." -- Ben, 12/22/02, describing how the school
bus driver played the dreaded Country Music on the bus radio.
"I blowed it off." -- Simon, 12/21/02, rationalizing to Mom why it was
perfectly okay to pick up the kernel of popcorn off the Dollar Store
floor and pop it into his mouth.
"Let's not let him blow out his cake." -- Benjamin, 1/4/03, 32 days
before Simon's third birthday, observing the saliva-to-air ratio when the
little guy tried to blow out a match that Dad lit.
"Do I have to do this in cursive?" -- Jasper, 1/6/03, asking about a
crossword puzzle assignment, after his third grade class made the jump
to all-cursive writing. (He was apparently worried about writing vertical
cursive.)
"I put it in my money pig." -- Simon, 2/7/03, coming up with his own
name for his new piggy bank.
"Nobody jumped up to touch the ceiling all weekend, and nobody hit
anyone." -- Alison's 3/23/03 female perspective of the First Annual Cousin
Exchange, when she got to stay in an all-girl house for the weekend.
"No, I don't think we'll want that for our license plate." -- Brad Robb,
spring 2003, to his kids after he coined the phrase "ARNEBUS" for the
Arnebergs' conversion van. He was concerned about the invitational
implications of "ROBBUS" on a license plate.
"One too many 'arks'." -- Ben's short explanation to Mom on 4/10/03, when
asked how his leg got bloody. (Seems Ben finally got some
"encouragement" to stop teasing his schoolmate Noah.)
"When my 'eye-brownies' are up, that means I'm really happy." -- Simon,
4/26/03.
"Why couldn't it be, like, a Coke plant or something?" -- Ben, 5/15/03,
while driving by the new
Leinie's Lodge
under construction, after
hearing that you get free beer at the end of every plant tour.
"(SLAP) I pledge (SLAP) allegiance (SLAP) to the (SLAP) flag (SLAP)..."
-- Jasper, 5/25/03, while digging worms for fishing. His repeated
slaps to his chest helped him wonder what it would be like to have
five hearts as does an earthworm.
"Dad, you won't be able to buy these in stores much longer." -- Jasper,
6/2/03, fearing that the family is too far behind the DVD-player curve.
"BEN I LIKE IT WITH OUT YOU HEAR" -- David's touching 6/24/03 letter
to Ben, who was spending the week at
Boy Scout camp.
"Sharks live in sugar water." -- Simon, 7/4/03, sounding very confident
but apparently mixing up his spices while arbitrarily rambling from
his shopping cart at Home Depot.
"Well, it SAYS to 'use sparingly.'" -- Tom's brother Jim, 7/11/03, at
the quinquennial
Arneberg Canoe Trip on the St. Croix River, explaining
why he is still using the same camp soap that he bought in 1979.
"Mom, it's NOT like we're gonna FALL." -- David's 7/16/03 cocky retort
to his over-protective mother's suggestions that they get down from the
rock wall at the Irvine Park rose garden...a few minutes before
Alison fell and
broke her wrist.
"The chairs in the waiting room could have arms that are wider and
softer." -- Alison's 8/6/03 written comments in a patient questionnaire
mailed out from St. Joseph's Hospital a few weeks after her broken arm.
"Sleeping is a shortcut to morning-time." -- Simon, 8/17/2003, allowing a
glimpse into the strange musings of the three-year-old mind.
"Flowers?! That's not a present!" -- David, 9/7/03,
after hearing
that his mom got a half dozen roses for her half birthday.
"Why do you want to drop a camera?" -- Simon, 10/06/03, after hearing
Mom give directions to the Middle School via Tropicana Avenue.
"Now we can always tell where Ben is on the court." -- David, 10/14/03,
after Ben's eBay spoils finally arrived: bright red basketball shoes.
(David was used to the weekly ritual of trying to figure out what number
Ben was on the middle school football team; he probably didn't realize
that it's a bit easier to identify basketball players.)
"Oh, no...is it in color?!" -- Ben, 11/14/03, worried about
Dad's choice of a rental movie from way back in the EIGHTIES.
That's all I have room for this time. May your new year be filled with
memorable quotes of your own family!